Christmas Eve - Traditions

As the 4 of us sit in our pajamas, in our own house, with the Christmas tree lit and a few special presents on the table to open, I look at the excitement in our 4 year old's eyes and watch our 1 year old bopping around from toy to toy as happy as can be. We realize that what we are doing will be wonderful and magical no matter what. What we are doing this year is committing fully to the evolution of Christmas traditions. Last year, with a 9 day old baby at home, our Christmas fell out of the pattern of traditions for obvious reasons. We didn't travel at all. We managed to make it special for Rory and we got the best present of all in Jordy being born. We did have some family visit around the holiday, but it was definitely different than our past Christmases. It was easier to accept last year. I was in a hormonal haze and we were all sleep deprived enough not to mind the calm of being home with just our immediate family, including Grannie. It was the right decision for our family and for Jordy as new to the world as he was. This year, those changes are hitting a little harder. We knew what we had done the past few years before Jordy was born was unsustainable. As our family grew and we settled into a life that was hours away from each of our families, it was going to be impossible to see everyone that we love on Christmas day. We tried to get the best of both worlds 2 years ago by travelling the 2.5 hours down to Massachusetts for my family's Christmas Eve party, then putting Rory in the car to sleep on the drive home, rushing back after midnight to try to get everything set for Santa to visit and then being home for Christmas. It was just too much, for everyone, and it didn't feel like the right way to fit it all in. And as some of you might remember, it was also the year that Rory brought the stomach flu to everyone for Christmas...another clue that it just wasn't meant to be. So, we decided to make the shift to staying home on Christmas Eve and starting a new tradition of letting the kids open 1 gift on Christmas Eve, and that gift will be a Christmas movie, that we can all sit and watch, with popcorn and hot cocoa and have a relaxing Christmas Eve in our own house. We will go from spending Christmas Eve with over 50 people, to spending it with just the 4 of us. The thought of missing the Christmas Eve party at Carol and Buck's house makes my heart heavy. I will miss seeing so many family and friends in one place. I'll miss the chaos, the raucous laughter coming from every room in waves as stories are told and retold and people mingle and kids get silly with the excitement of the night. I'll miss the noise, the sounds of so many people taking time to just relax and have fun and enjoy and appreciate each other. You can feel it in the energy of the air at that party. It's love. It's Christmas magic. It's loud and wild and overwhelming, and I love every second of it. But I also love the idea of waking up Christmas morning in our own house, in Maine, our chosen home; watching the kids come down the stairs and see the bounty that Santa brought with the shimmer in their eyes that only the magic of Christmas can bring. I love the idea of not having to spend half of our day in the car, like we used to have to do...and of actually getting to sit down and enjoy a Christmas dinner instead of just missing it at every house we went to, which used to happen all too often to us as we tried to hit all of the stops we wanted to hit on Christmas day. I wouldn't change a thing about the way Christmas was for us the past 3 decades, but we do have to accept a change for our kids. Change is hard. We all know that, but I find that people are particularly attached to holiday traditions, which makes them all that much more difficult to change. Even our favorite parts of traditions have to evolve at some point. New babies join us. New loves become part of the family. We outgrow houses and have to shift traditions. New loves also mean we have to share our loved ones with other families. Families move away and can't get back for every holiday. People pass on and become part of the traditions in spirit only. Change happens. The best we can do is embrace it and try to guide the changes that we do have some control over to best reflect the needs and values of our family. It doesn't mean we have to change everything. We will always say "ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, my side, my side" every time we drive by Christmas lights on someone's house; we will always see all the people the we love, but it might have to be a different weekend than the day that Christmas falls on. There are new traditions that I hope will stick, like a holiday party with our group of college friends where we do a yankee swap for the adults and a secret santa type swap for the kids and feast on yummy food and have a few drinks. We are spending time this Christmas day with friends who are like family, who live close by. Hopefully we can do that most years. Perhaps this movie night on Christmas Eve will stick, or perhaps we'll start our own Christmas Eve party, like Carol and Buck did almost 30 years ago and someday our boys might be nostalgic about these new traditions that they've known for most of their lives. We need to to focus on a few of our favorite things and make sure we incorporate those. We need to keep the memories of traditions that we've moved on from in our hearts and recapture the happy feelings that they brought us in new ways, but always appreciating the old ways. So while you enjoy your holidays and participate in traditions, old or new, remember that change can be healthy and it's okay to mourn the loss of old traditions while still embracing the excitement of new ones. Although we know it's not the same as getting to see the kids in person, we thought some people would like to have a bit of their laughter and presence in their day this Christmas. The attached video link is long, and we won't be offended if your Christmas day is too busy to watch the whole thing, but it will be here for when you do find yourself with 17 minutes to check out some of the fun our boys had this year. Who knows...maybe this video recap will become a new Christmas tradition too. Please keep in mind that we just decided last minute to throw this together, so if the time we spent together this year or a special event was not captured, it was not intentional. Next year we will try to start it earlier to make sure we don't miss anything, but we all know how that goes. :) Love to you all and Merry Christmas!! here's the video password to watch the video is rory

Walkin' man

So, we are overdue for an update and so much changes with our little men in such a short time. Jordy took his first steps sometime around 9.5 months old. Since then he has been occasionally taking a step here and there or he'd take 3 and then drop to his knees. Still tentative about the whole idea of it...up until last week. All of a sudden on Monday he was just pushing his little car/walker around the house and he pushed it in front of him, let go and just walked away from it. The short video I've captured here is not that first time he did it, but another time he did something similar that day. He has officially decided to fully commit to walking now and he is all over the place. He does still occasionally crawl to get somewhere fast, but he's getting very confident with his steps. He can even kick a ball or block in front of him while he walks. He intentionally walks over things that throw him off balance, over and over again. I'm thinking he likes the little rush that comes with almost falling over. My little adrenaline addict...can't imagine where he gets that from. :)




http://www.youtube.com/v/pS6ZOhMyiJ0?version=3&autohide=1&autoplay=1&showinfo=1&attribution_tag=YWR26KcOEP2kY3vdEBq5_A&feature=share&autohide=1



Rory is loving fall and getting excited for his cousin Cadam to visit for a sleepover soon. He is loving pre-school and doing really well with writing his letters. He's even started reading a couple books to us instead of us reading to him (I think he's got them memorized rather than actually reading the words, but that is the first step). He had his second dentist appointment recently and did a great job being brave and sitting still in the chair and opening his mouth really wide. They even did his first x-rays and he only gagged a little on those crazy big films they make you hold in your mouth. You'd think they could get those a little more flexible. Getting ready for the holiday season. Hope everyone is well.

10 Monkeys Old Today

...or where are we going to find 2 more monkeys?

Jordy's first pizza

We had our first Sunday football pizza day today and Jordy loved the homemade pizza! I walked away from my plate for a minute and I caught him leaning over my plate with his mouth on the edge of my piece of pizza. He tried for Rory's a few times too. Rory finally gave in and started feeding him small pieces. Super cute. 

Soccer 2013

Rory made his debut as a team sport athlete this fall playing Soccer with the Kiddie Kickers. Okay, so it wasn't really a team so much as a group of kids learning to play at the same time. There were no games or competitions, no wins or losses, just play. Coach Allen is amazing with the kids and has the most perfect energy for getting them all excited for the next exercise. And after 4 weeks of having fun, learning some foot skills and learning how to listen to a coach, they did get a trophy. All the kids were SO proud of their trophies, and for some, like Rory, it was their first one ever. Although it was technically a "participation" trophy, and the kids would've gotten one regardless of how they did, I was SO proud of him. My pride stems from something I witnessed on that last night, while he was playing. They were doing one quick drill at the end where they got to try to score a goal and to play a little defense, the only time the whole month that they got to play against each other. They paired people up and had them go 1 on 1 or 2 on 2 against each other to try to get goals. Unfortunately, Rory was matched up with a girl at least 4 inches taller than him and much faster. He got scored on the first 3 times they went out there 1 on 1, but he was still smiling and really excited to be running and playing and I was high fiving him saying "Great job trying buddy!", but after the 3rd time he got the ball stolen I could tell he was starting to feel sad. The coach was trying to make sure that each of them scored a goal before the session ended, so he kept throwing the ball closer to Rory than the girl and sometimes even helping out by stealing it from her and passing it to him, but his little legs were just no match for her. During their last run out there, I watched as this girl stole the ball from him and ran away kicking it in front of her (she was actually pretty good, not just tall) and I saw the look on his face as he ran go from a smile, to surprised, to a look of defeat, to the lip quiver that happens just before he's about to lose it and break down in tears. What I saw next was enough to bring me close to tears...he had slowed down to almost a stand still and I watched him take a deep breath, fight back the tears and run as fast as he could after her, with determination, with anger and frustration still in his expression, but determination ruling his legs. It was amazing!! He did get the ball back with a little help from the coach and he did get his goal eventually, but it was that moment of detemination that I am choosing to think of as the challenge behind the trophy. He learned a very important skill. A skill that is not specific to soccer, but more of a life lesson. He learned it without us verbally explaining it and without having to harp on it 100 times a day like brushing his teeth or hanging up his coat. He followed an instinct within himself to not give up, to turn his frustration into determination and to see it through. That made me more proud than any goal will ever make me. Not that he was an angel through the entire session. Just earlier that day he had decided he wasn't in the mood to play, wouldn't get out of the car and said he'd rather go home than get his trophy. We had to talk him out of the car, out of his horrid mood and back onto the field, but at least it all was worth it for that one moment of brilliance.

Eatin' beans

New developments

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So much has happened in the last month or so since we've last written. Jordy got 2 teeth in August and has been crawling around like crazy. He pulls himself up on everything and this week he's even started to let go and test his balance. Fun for him but a bit nerve wracking for Moms. So far he has only fallen on his bum and been unaffected, so that's good. His other new favorite game is climbing up the couch pillows until he's standing or kneeling and then throwing his body backwards. Sort of like a trust fall only I'm not sure he actually needs the trust part since he doesn't seem to have the fear of falling backward. Lucky for him I'm always sitting there with him in case his aim is off, I'm starting to get nervous about what this daredevil is going to do when I'm not watching though. 

Rory is having a blast at preschool and is super excited to be 4 years old now. He had a wonderful birthday weekend followed by an amazing wedding weekend for my sister Tara and her new husband Steve. He was a ring bearer and took his job very seriously. He did a great job walking down the aisle with over 200 people looking at him and we were so proud of him. He has also been playing soccer and riding his new bike (without training wheels) a ton this past month. 

With so much going on we've had little time to blog lately but I wanted to get at least a couple new photos up before too much time goes by and you all stop checking in. :)

"I see you."

"I love myself"

"I love my big brother!"

Too cool!

Just a little dude, his tractor and a smile. 

Birthday cupcakes outside...brilliant. No mess inside!

The new ride. 

Birthday bike parade!

The awesome new playground getting lots of use. 

And Bev's birthday gift, the family garden swing. 

Eight monkeys old today

We are crawling and babbling and eating solids and pooping solids. We are amazing.

Seven monkeys old

Can't believe it. Jordy is seven months old now. Wow.

Down with DOMA day!

What a happy day for those of us that have previously not been entitled to all the rights and responsibilities that come along with being legally married. Although we were going to wait until the ceremony we have planned for next fall to get a marriage license and sign those papers, this decision still has a huge impact on our lives. For the last decade the battle over my right to marry the woman I love has been raging in our home state and with each vote and each baby step forward I kept saying, "well, this will be big, but the real benefit will come when the federal government recognizes us". When we finally won the vote last November and same sex marriage became legal in Maine, I was overjoyed, but still had that same thought..."it doesn't mean much until we get federal benefits". Now, only 7 months later, we've won the next step and I'm overwhelmed with emotion. I wish I had the time to sit down and write it all out and pour over where this all sits in my heart, but I don't. Life is so busy i hardly have time to think about it, nevermind write about it. I've got to get the toddler to bed and pack his lunch for tomorrow. We need to put together a page of photos of our family for his first week of pre-school so he has something comforting to look at if he's feeling sad. I've got to nurse the baby and get together my questions for the doctor because his 6 month appt is tomorrow and I always forget what we needed to ask her. The laundry needs to be switched, the dishes need to be done, we need to schedule an oil change for Bev's car. We need to go over the checkbook together because I'm out of the loop on our finances. The dog needs to be let out, the chickens need to fed and somewhere I need to find 20 hours to put together a swingset for the boys that is sitting in boxes at the base of our driveway. Not that I'm complaining about any of this. It is only to point out, that yes...we are just like anyone else in the good times and bad that you deal with in a relationship. We have the same thoughts and issues, the same day to day list of projects, the same emotions, the same highs and lows that all of our friends have, straight or gay in dealing with their families.
No, this is not a complaint at all. In fact, just the opposite. I'm so happy with my life. Having a toddler, although trying at times, is so fascinating because we get to see the world through innocent eyes without prejudice, full of curiosity. Having a 6 month old as happy as ours is the light of my days. He giggles and smiles and I love every little inch of him so much. And having a partner that I love and trust and respect as much as Bev, who knows when to be funny and when to be supportive and recognizes when I'm a grouch and apologizes when she's one; to be building this home and this life together and raising this family together, makes me feel so lucky and overwhelmed with happiness. And we have all of that no matter what the law says, but oh how sweet it is to have the court on our side this time!

Hot weekend

Seems like summer just pounced on us this year. Memorial Day parade, weekend at Nana's and Mandy's graduation. Nice start to the summer.

Houston we have solids

Started solids today with sweet potato. He had like five good bites until he threw in the towel and wanted milk. He made quite a face getting used to the texture when he swallowed. Can't believe we are at this point already!

Five monkeys old today

Too quick

I can't get over how quickly time is passing by. Jordy is already over 4 months old and sitting up on his own now (sort of) and Rory is only a year and a half away from kindergarten. He had his first dentist appointment last week and he was a rock star through it. They did a full cleaning and he was brave through the whole thing and listened so well to everything she told him. It just goes too fast (the growing up, not the dentist appt.). Here are some adorable pictures of our growing boys.