I stopped pumping last week. Until this point, I had been pumping 2-3 times a day to make enough breastmilk for Rory to have during his days at daycare and then I would nurse him in the mornings, before bed and on weekends. For the past several months I haven't actually been able to get enough milk out during the day to keep up with what he was drinking at school, so I have had to also pump before I went to bed every night, even on weekends. So, although I thought I would be so excited to put the pump away, I have to say I'm a little sad about the whole thing. He will now get organic formula while at daycare and I'll still nurse him in the mornings, at night and on weekends. I think the sad part for me is just thinking about the fact that our nursing relationship may soon be coming to an end. I always knew that I wanted to breastfeed because its better for the baby, but I had no idea how soothing it would be for me. Its one of my favorite parts of the day when he snuggles into bed with me in the morning and nurses or when I have him in my lap at bedtime and he looks up into my eyes with a look that clearly expresses how content he is to be in my arms and getting some milk. It is the closest physical connection you'll ever have with your child and I am going to miss it when its gone. Its also a nice fallback to know that no matter how upset he is, that's the one thing that can almost always calm him down. I realize that just because I'm not pumping, doesn't mean that he can't nurse for many more months, but I still get sad thinking about the end. At least I know how much he loves his solid food, so we can trust that he's always going to get the nutrition he needs.
Despite the sadness around making less milk, I am SO happy to not have to try to find an extra hour of time at work to go pump and to not be lugging that bag around with me and to not have to stay up later than I want to at night just to pump and then put the milk in bags and freeze it, and then wash out all the parts and set them out to dry, and then get up in the morning and have to put all the parts back into the bag and remember to bring it with me to work, and to not feel guilty on nights when I just don't have it in me to pump. WHEW!!!! I am glad that's done with. :)
So, after a weekend away camping last weekend, we have another big weekend planned. We're heading to NYC to see a WNBA game and visit with Gramma and Jim, and Mike, Lisa and Jack. Rory is very excited to show Jack his new skills...and we are very excited to see everyone and to finally see a WNBA game. We've been talking about doing this for 3 years now. In preparation of our trip, we got on our NYC outfits for a family photo.
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